Take a deep breath and... JUMP!!

I am far from having everything planned out but I have a place to start now! First things first I have to conquer all the battles of starting school, which, there are many more than I ever would have thought! Next is the physical trainer course. Although this is a new thing I have been wanting to do I feel it is very important, my goal is to go to school to be a Dietitian/Nutritionist and a PA or a NP (which will allow me to prescribe and alter medications) so I can train people to be healthy and eventually, if at all possible, get them off of thier medications. I feel this is a much healthier route than prescribing medications that very often require more medications to counteract side effects. I do agree that modern medicine has saved lifes and is very benificial, however I don't feel it should be the automatic route for the majority of people.

My next step is getting a little healthier myself, cardio and healthy eating! I can't very well tell my patients to be healthy as I sit on my butt and do nothing! I'm excited about getting started on this, it's still in the medical feild, I'm still heloping people AND it'll allow me to make my own schedule! Yay!

So I guess the last thing I have to do is take a deep breath and...JUMP!!

Before I end this post I want to say thank you to the one who showed me chivalry isn't dead, that men still do appreciate and respect women. I will forever be grateful to you for showing me my strengths and weaknesses and pushing me to be the woman I want to be. Thank you for seeing me when I didn't.

Questions and answers

How many times in my life have I been in this exact situation? How many times have I wondered where my life was going and not relizing until months later that I have been what was in the way? How many times have I put my life on hold for something that will never be, why do I always hold on to what I know is not right? What do I gain from putting myself in a painful situation, why do I want to be there? Is pain really better than not having what I really want? Even though I've asked myself these questions before I still seem to justify myself, until ofcourse I am finally able to look at it from an outside view, after I've healed from it.


And that brings me to wonder, how much longer am I going to not allow myself to heal. I know I'm doing it to myself, I don't want to admit that I have to let go. I don't want to give this to God because I know if I do I wont have anything left to hold on to. What's worse is I know that by doing this I'm telling God that I don't trust that He has somthing else planned for me.


He has been very evident in my life recently and instead of being still and listening to Him, I've been trying to make it mean what I want. So I actually don't need to be confused and frustrated with God, I just need to listen and trust. If what I'm feeling is true and not completley because of my not wanting to let go then I will know when I need to know, and if I'm just not wanting to let go then that will be shown as well. Right now I need to let it be evident that I trust in Him.


Your will be done, not mine.